Monday, December 8, 2008

Listing of the Day: Worst Ever

4160 Baychester Ave, 3 Bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms - $314,711

This house in Wakefield seems to be in such bad shape that you'd have to sign a waiver to even enter and see it. Check out the write-up from the listing:

Handyman Special being sold strictly as is. Electrical, plumbing, & heating systems appear in working condition, but homeowner makes no claims. A diamond in the rough. Make your mark in this down period. As a precaution, everyone entering property MUST sign a waiver. WARNING: house is messy, wear proper attire. If you are not a contractor or handy, save time & bring one w/ you. Good location near public transit, schools, & pkwys.

A listing like this makes your wonder. What exactly is wrong here? Is this thing gonna collapse on its inhabitants? And what about this wearing proper attire because of the mess bit? Are you going to be wading through human feces or something? How does this agent expect anybody to show up to an open house? Who's going to say to his wife, "Hey honey, get my shit wading clothes down from the attic. I found a great place in a marginal Bronx neighborhood that's still pretty expensive for its condition. Oh yeah, and we even have to sign some cool waiver just in case we're attacked by the homeless crackhead who lives in the basement or if the roof collapses on us. But Susie will finally get her own room. I think this is gonna be it!"

This is a Gary-Busey-bat-shit-crazy listing. It is still not even all that cheap! If this was, say $200K or less, then maybe you'd get some bites. But at $314K and a waiver it's a pretty tough sell. On the bright side, I guess the agent is being super-honest. Most of the time agents can be pretty shameless in stretching the truth in listings. I guess this guy knows he has a doo-doo pie on his hands and wants to be upfront about it. Some other agents would have listed this as being in mint condition and in Riverdale.

If anyone is brave enough out there, please go check this out, sign the waiver, wear boots and report back. We'll reward you with a post of your own and a place in BoogieDowner history.


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