A Steak Knife Grows in Brooklyn

I guess the Brooklyn backlash is in full effect. Closely on the heels of this summer's machete attacks in Billburg, a story is coming out on FreeWilliamsburg of a hipster lass who was attacked by a knife wielding, Mets hat-wearing lunatic on Orient Avenue.

The BoogieDowner actually followed the link trail to the original source of this story. First seen on Curbed, then followed to Gothamist and then finally to the original post on FreeWilliamsburg. The blogoshpere is a twisted web, no?

Is this further evidence that the sprawl of hipsterdom has reached its natural limits in Williamsburg? Have the PBR-swilling, cultural connoisseur cultists finally met a reality that is scarier than a full time job - machete and knife wielding hipster-haters? Do skinny jeans, ridiculously over sized sunglasses, Pearl Art bags and a copy of Infinite Jest under your arm make you a target of these attacks?

The girl who was attacked sends out a concerned warning to her fellow hipster neighbors:

"so that my hip neighbors will know to keep their wits about them - no matter what time of day and no matter how safe the street seems. Converse, ipods and black jeans make you a target to some people." [www.freewilliamsburg.com]

Sheesh, and they say the Bronx is dangerous... I'm not quite sure if the attacker was attracted by the converse and black jeans, but I am thinking the white iPod headphone cord may have had something to do with it.

Although scary attacks like these continue to happen in Billburg, it will no doubt remain the apple of NYC media's eye. They better get a handle on the crime spree against hipsters if they hope to keep all those glass facade luxury condo units selling in this market.

*Hipsters as caricatures of human beings courtesy of http://www.moneyries.blogspot.com/*

~ErLu

Tsk, tsk Hottie Burg Bikers

Yet another funny post from Curbed today:

Hipster Hottie Bicyclists vs. Hasids in South Williamsburg?
This may be the first time that we've seen the issue of "scantily clad cyclists' injected into the sometimes colorful debate about cars vs. bikes in neighborhoods. But, that's what's going on in South Williamsburg where there seems to be a battle of Hipster Hotties vs. Hasids. Specifically, leaders of the large and politically-powerful South Williamsburg Hasidic community are asking the city to get rid of bike lanes on Wythe and Bedford Avenues and not to build one on Kent Avenue. A Community Board One member tells the Post: "I have to admit, it's a major issue, women passing through here in that dress code. It bothers me, and it bothers a lot of people." The problem, among other things, is the hipster penchant for riding in shorts and skirts. The temporary bike lane on Kent would be a precursor to the Brooklyn Greenway along with waterfront; some community leaders want the Wythe and Bedford Ave. bike lanes eliminated as a tradeoff for the greenway. The greenway is supposed to eventually run from Newtown Creek to Sunset Park. The Hipster Hottie angle didn't come up during the Community Board meeting, just the general opposition to the bike lanes.

BoogieDowner's take:

Poor, poor Brooklyn hipsters. If they're not getting attacked by machetes, their bike lanes are possibly being taken away by Hasids who think they look a bit too trampy whilst riding. Talk about stifling one's artistic expression! I bet if they were in the Bronx, they could ride around naked and no one would give them any trouble. We're just so peace-loving and accepting of all kinds up here in the BoogieDown. Brooklyn is so 2006, wouldn't you say?

*Photo courtesy of www.nypost.com*

~ErLu

Brooklyn Hipsters are Mean

I just thought this post on Curbed.com was funny:

Real World Brooklyn vs. Hipsters —
The Real World Brooklyn cast was spotted at a Semi Precious Weapons show at Rebel on Monday, which is interesting, but the fun part is the complaint voiced by cast member Chet Bannon, who is the Mormon among them. He said: "When we go to Williamsburg we get harassed. The hipsters throw things at us and say 'Why are you here? Go home!' Ten years ago none of them were there either." He looked hurt and wondered, 'Why are the hipsters so small minded?'" [NYPress; Real World Coverage] [from http://www.curbed.com/ and NY Press]

Ha! In one sentence this guy managed to sum up everything I cannot stand about BillBurg hipsters. Boy oh boy would the Real World cast have had fun in the BoogieDown. SoBro businesses would be fawning all over them hoping for 10 minutes of fame not associated with the "Bronx is Burning" stereotype. They could have experienced all the good stuff about NYC, minus the Brooklyn 'tudes. I guess the Real World cast should just consider themselves lucky that they haven't been attacked with machetes yet.

~ErLu